"Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself." - Deborah Reber
Today I picked this quote because I wanted to talk about acceptance. I think that acceptance of situations or ourselves sometimes gets a negative association. People say things like, are you going to just let that happen? How can you just accept that?, etc. And we feel the need to always have control over situations. Thinking that we can control the way the situation always pans out, or how the person on the other side will react. The truth is that sometimes, most times, we really don't have much control. We do, however, have control over ourselves. The way we choose to behave, and the way we choose to accept.
Sometimes letting go means that you are strong enough to make the choice to walk away and accept things as they are. That you are strong enough to accept it and move on. Sometimes things aren't meant to hold onto any longer, and by holding onto them we give them power over us. When we choose to accept, and let it go, that's when we gain our power back.
I think this is most relevant with people when they are expecting someone to apologize for hurting them. When we were kids, most of our parents and our teachers taught us to apologize when we did something wrong, or hurt someone else in some way. We expect people that do us wrong to apologize and we can then make the hurt go away.
Sometimes we wait for years, decades for apologies. For something that person will do to finally make it right, or even. While we're waiting for that other person to take action, all the while we are holding onto that hurt, that sadness, that pain, and resentment.
The reality is that the day that the person apologizes or make it right, may never come. And you are causing yourself years of pain and resentment waiting for it to happen.
One of the greatest lessons I've learned in my life is to not play a victim. As with a lot of things, this is easier said than done.
The hurt and pain may not be our fault, but it is our responsibility to heal from it. Sometimes you have to forgive and accept and let go all by yourself, even if it wasn't your fault.
As we know, we are the only thing we really have control over.
We need to choose what has power over our emotions and our thoughts. Sometimes we need to just let. it. go. Once we do that, we can move forward and know that we hold the power on what affects us, or offends us.